• I should probably be sleeping now since my uncle’s gonna pick me up at 6 in the morning. Ahm gown too Puhmpeynguh y’all! 
  • It sucks whenever I have the urge to put up an entry i’d forget about it in just minutes (no i don’t have short term memory loss…just keep swimming.) But i’m glad I got to write one before I sleep yay!
  • Dreamt about this person a few days ago. Loooong story but I will have to put it in my blog eventually. Can’t forget about that ;-)
  • This bullet thing is so therapeutic. I mean I know it can be a bit annoying for others that every thought I can produce is written here. Well not really and I just want to warm up again on tumblr. I miss this! I really do! I miss my friends too. 
  • I am super stoked for my upcoming trip!
  • I feel like i’m losing grip of my writing skills. I know I am not much of a good writer (in the eyes of the critics) but then again I try my hardest to practice something that I want to be really really good at like Summit Media-worthy (yes I dream big bitch)
  • Now…Criminal Case.

At every dark path we take in our lives, one’s thing’s for sure. There will always be a light in the end. 

One thing I learned in this treacherous world we dwell in, we always have to gear ourselves toward the light. It may seem like it’s the easiest thing to say to someone who has not experienced total depression. But more or less we get the feeling of being alone. The feeling of neglect and it may even come up to a point where total desperation is the only thing that stands in our way. The past months have given me a seemingly dark path in which I did not think twice about taking. I was grasping for hope, for someone to guide me through this emotional instability. At one time I said to myself “I think I need to get my head checked. I feel the bolts loosening up.” 

I thought I was abandoned. I could hear the cackling of the ones who like to see me fail. I was fading away. I wanted to let the darkness in me devour me so I could bask in its sadness. 

But then I heard a voice. “Come”, and another one from behind “You’re not alone”. Mind you this isn’t a horror movie so don’t expect chills down your spine. Pardon the pun. It was the people whom I thought have left me. Whom I didn’t think would go through the burden of giving their sincere understanding of where I was coming from. I was an emotional wreck, a wuss, a cry baby. Insecurities, failures and all the shit you can name. It all faded slowly because a hand was there to help me rise. They took me and led me to go take that dark path with them and finally see the light I was looking for. 

People will always be unpredictable. With all the mood swings and the uncontrollable feelings one can have in a specific moment. But also, you can’t predict how good or bad they will become because you will never know. Only Santa will. But that’s the beauty of it ain’t it? That you can never know how good or hideous a person will be, not until your most vulnerable moments. It’s just how it works. 

MIDNIGHT BULLETS

  • Well apparently it’s already 1am and I am supposed to be sleeping. SAYS NO TEENAGER EVER.
  • Been thinking a lot lately…for a few months now about how I should change the way I live my life. There’s so much drama and sadness and every shit all wrapped in a tin foil with a slop of salsa on it. I just can’t seem to stop overthinking! 
  • I’ve finished the last episode of my ultimate favorite show Pretty Little Liars. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time. I think I need to make a separate post about it. 
  • I have 28 days until this big event. I am excited as hell and I need to plan everything beforehand. 
  • I miss blogging. I know it has been my habit to always say i’ll go back and start writing again but I end up playing Criminal Case on Facebook. It’s frustrating that I get to have this amazing thought that can be a good entry and i’ll suddenly lose the urge to do it. It kills me!
  • I need to get a job. But of course after the “big event”. I need to take a rest because yes college is damn stressful! 
  • Still need to make an entry for my graduation/being a graduate and videos of the retreat and baccalaureate mass. Oh and I have to fix my stuff. Apparently my mom isn’t going to stop nagging me (which I find both irritating and cute lol).
  • CUT!