At every dark path we take in our lives, one’s thing’s for sure. There will always be a light in the end.
One thing I learned in this treacherous world we dwell in, we always have to gear ourselves toward the light. It may seem like it’s the easiest thing to say to someone who has not experienced total depression. But more or less we get the feeling of being alone. The feeling of neglect and it may even come up to a point where total desperation is the only thing that stands in our way. The past months have given me a seemingly dark path in which I did not think twice about taking. I was grasping for hope, for someone to guide me through this emotional instability. At one time I said to myself “I think I need to get my head checked. I feel the bolts loosening up.”
I thought I was abandoned. I could hear the cackling of the ones who like to see me fail. I was fading away. I wanted to let the darkness in me devour me so I could bask in its sadness.
But then I heard a voice. “Come”, and another one from behind “You’re not alone”. Mind you this isn’t a horror movie so don’t expect chills down your spine. Pardon the pun. It was the people whom I thought have left me. Whom I didn’t think would go through the burden of giving their sincere understanding of where I was coming from. I was an emotional wreck, a wuss, a cry baby. Insecurities, failures and all the shit you can name. It all faded slowly because a hand was there to help me rise. They took me and led me to go take that dark path with them and finally see the light I was looking for.
People will always be unpredictable. With all the mood swings and the uncontrollable feelings one can have in a specific moment. But also, you can’t predict how good or bad they will become because you will never know. Only Santa will. But that’s the beauty of it ain’t it? That you can never know how good or hideous a person will be, not until your most vulnerable moments. It’s just how it works.